The Day Before

I dreamt about Rin for the first time in a long time.

In my dream, Rin’s face was that of an elementary schooler, just like the last time I saw him. But according to my dream, he was apparently starting his second year of high school this spring just like me, and for some reason, we’re in the same class. I didn’t find that particularly strange or out of the ordinary. But I guess that’s normal for a dream. He was wearing an Iwatobi High School uniform and he looked at me and smiled. It was the same smile as back then.

“Hey, Makoto. Wanna swim in another relay?”

I smiled vaguely and looked at Haru.

We were on the school roof during lunchtime. Haru remained silent and just continued to eat his lunch of salted grilled mackerel.

I stared at Haru but I couldn’t read him. Even though I normally could tell what he was thinking without him saying anything. In my dream, I couldn’t read him and so I started to panic. While I was still unsure how to reply, Rin said, “Haru says he’s in, right?” and without waiting for an answer, he grabbed hold of Haru’s arm. Haru’s hand eating his lunch stopped and he looked at Rin.

“I…”

Haru tried to talk but Rin stood up, pulling Haru with him. He didn’t even wait for Haru’s response.

“C’mon, let’s go, Haru.”

Haru’s aluminum lunch box fell from his hands, it clanged against the concrete roof and rolled.

“Wait, Haru!”

I stood up as well.

When I looked around, the roof was suddenly filled with water and Haru and Rin were swimming far ahead of me. I struggled against the water, desperately trying to chase after them, but my limbs refused to move properly.

“Wait. Haru. Haru!”

That’s when I woke up.

It was a normal morning in the town of Iwatobi, on the second floor of the Tachibana house. My room.

Spring break ended yesterday, so today would be the first day of the new semester. Even though nights are chilly this time of year, the t-shirt I was wearing in place of pajamas was soaked through with sweat.

“Oniichan, what’s wrong?”

“Breakfast is ready, you know?”

Ren and Ran, who had come to wake me up, asked while staring at me with worried looks.

“It’s nothing. I just had a weird dream. I’ll be right down.”

I smiled at them and got out of bed.

I told Ran and Ren, who were clinging to me, to go down to breakfast first, and stripped off my soaking wet t-shirt. The April morning air felt good on my sticky, damp skin.

I could see my naked torso in my full-length mirror.

I hadn’t swum at all since the end of my first year in middle school. I’d lost some muscles compared to back then. I remembered the rooftop filled with water from my dream just now, and I felt a little uneasy. What if Rin really did appear now and asked to swim relay again? Would I be able to swim like I used to? Would I be able to keep up with Haru…?

I changed into my uniform and ate my breakfast absent-mindedly. When I opened the front door after saying goodbye, the goldfish grave in the garden caught my eye. Maybe because of my dream about Rin, I thought about the past and I put my hands together in prayer before I headed towards the narrow path in front of my house.

Haru wasn’t at the bottom of the stone steps.

Even though we said we’d meet up there when the new semester started.

Instead, a kitten poked its head out from the grass next to the steps and meowed softly.

It was the kitten of a local stray cat that had given birth recently.

“Good morning,” I greeted it softly and waited for Haru.

But Haru didn’t come.

As I pet the kitten while it nuzzled against me, I figured Haru was like a cat.

He’s fickle and always lived his life freely. He would only let people who understood him near him. And only when he felt like it. Then when he was satisfied, he’d abruptly disappear. Just as I thought that that the kitten, who probably lost interest, abruptly left and I couldn’t help but smile wryly.

But Haru still didn’t come.

He wasn’t planning to skip the first day of the new semester, was he?

Yesterday on the last day of spring break, he had dinner at my house but nothing had seemed out of ordinary then.

Haru wasn’t the type of person who spoke a lot.

He’d always been that way, but when he quit the swim club at the end of our first year in middle school, he became even more silent. Normally I could sort of tell what Haru was thinking even if he didn’t speak, but when he suddenly proclaimed he was quitting the swim club I didn’t understand. All I could tell was just that something had happened, and he didn’t want to talk about it to anyone. That’s why I didn’t dig any further into it, and just smiled at him and said, “Well then, I guess I’ll quit, too.”

If I told a random person that I could read his mind, I think they’d say “that’s impossible” and not believe me, but I really could tell what Haru was thinking.

Lately, I’ve felt like this ability was getting weaker and weaker though.

It’s like those stories I often hear of children being able to see things like fairies and ghosts and incorporeal things while they were young, but then as they grew up, they saw them less and less, like they lost the power to see them.

Haru’s late grandmother often used to say, “A prodigy at ten, a genius at fifteen, and at twenty, you’re just an ordinary person.” That probably meant that even if someone had special powers as a child, once they became an adult, that power would disappear.

In my case, that was probably my power to read Haru’s mind.

There have been a few times recently where I couldn’t tell what Haru was thinking at all.

When I become an adult, there will probably come a day where I won’t be able to tell what Haru’s thinking at all.

It was a little scary to think about.

No matter how long I waited Haru never came, so I decided to go to his house to get him.

But getting him just meant going up the stone steps a little and turning left to get to Haru’s house. Haru was the only one living there right now. Haru’s father was working in Hokkaido. Haru’s mother stayed here until he graduated from middle school, but once he entered high school, she went to live with his father. It seems that in the Nanase family, Haru’s father was the one who needed more attention.

I stood at the front door and pressed the doorbell.

But, there was no response.

“Haru, are you here?”

I called out, but there was nothing but silence.

I figured it couldn’t be helped and went around to the back of the house.

Times like these, Haru’s usually in that place.

“Excuse me,” I said out of courtesy as I opened the unlocked backdoor. It was badly fitted, so the trick to opening it was to lift the door up a little before pulling it open. Once inside I headed straight to the bathroom. At this time of year, Haru often wore his swimsuit and soaked in his bathtub filled with room temperature water. It was as if he were a creature that would die without water. He would cramp his body into the small bathtub to immerse himself in the water.

I opened the bathroom door, and slowly extended my hand.

“Good morning, Haru-chan⸺”

And that’s when I realized the bathtub was empty.

The Bathtub was still filled with water. A toy dolphin was bobbing on the water’s surface.

It was sakura season, our first day of the first semester of our second year of high school, and the day of the opening ceremony.

One sakura petal drifted in through the open window and fell into the water, creating a small ripple.

Haruka POV
That morning, Nanase Haruka had awoken with a strange feeling of apprehension.
The clock at his bedside read just after 5 am. Since April had just begun, outside it was still dark and deadly silent.
With spiritless eyes, Haruka slowly got up and headed toward the kitchen, got a glass of water from the faucet and drank it all. It calmly passed through Haruka’s body like the beach after a wave has passed over it. However, it didn’t calm the unease in his heart. He wanted to sink his whole body in the water, not just his insides. He wants to feel the water with his whole body.
Haruka needed water just like an aquatic animal. When he felt anxious, or happy, or sad, being in the water would flatten his emotions. He didn’t have many highs and lows of emotion, to begin with, but being in the water freed him from various parts of reality, and it made him feel more at ease with his emotions.
When the school nurse at his middle school told him “That’s probably some sort of desire to return to the womb, isn’t it?” with a knowing look, Haruka just sighed in his mind. The reason didn’t matter, and he didn’t care to know. He just wanted to be in the water.
The reason he started going to the swimming school in elementary school, and why he’d just continue to do so, was because he wanted to be in contact with the water, and he didn’t need any other reason than that. It was only when he was in the water that Haruka became free.
The water was that important of an existence to Haruka.

He changed into his competitive swimming suit and sunk his body into the bathtub full of lukewarm water.
Doing it in a swimsuit rather than naked was like a ritual to Haruka.
This was different than bathing. He’d come to think of it as solely to feel the water, to become one with the water.
He wanted to soak in the small bathtub for a while, but even that didn’t calm the unease in his heart. That was the first time it’d ever happened.

Haruka got out of the bathtub, changed into a sweat suit, and headed out into the city before dawn.
He ran slowly down the road by the coastline.
It was the same route he’d ran ever since he started doing it to build stamina during his time at the swimming school. Since it was before dawn, the road didn’t have many cars traveling on it, but every once in a while, a semi truck’s headlights would pass by him. Right when he was about to pass a crosswalk, he suddenly looked at the signal. It was flashing green like it was telling him to hurry up.
Why he did that, not even Haruka knew. All he could say was he had some sort of feeling. Haruka left his route like he was being pulled by something, and crossed the crosswalk just before it turned red. He didn’t realize at that time that what was on the other side was the elementary school that he used to go to.

The eastern sky was starting to lighten
Before he knew it, he was standing near the fence in front of the elementary school.
The elementary school before dawn was uninhabited. There wasn’t even one lit window. It looked like it was abandoned.
It had already been 4 years since he’d graduated.
Right on the other side of the fence was a pool. Just beside that was a Sakura tree.
Due to the rain yesterday, a lot of the petals and fallen.
The ground at Haruka’s feet was covered in petals, just like a carpet of sakura.
With a feeling like that of taking the first step onto freshly fallen snow, Haruka softly placed his foot upon the petals that no one had yet walked on.
At that moment, the words “sakura pool” suddenly popped into his head.
Haruka’s expression clouded over.
A feeling of regret instantly took him over.
Then, he dropped his gaze to his feet, and he saw an “F” buried in the sakura petals
For a moment, he thought it was just a trick of his eyes.
But, it was definitely a letter that someone had written on the ground.
It was probably a letter that someone had roughly written with the heel of their shoe.
The “F” that had been written in the wet earth from yesterday’s rain and the letters following it were hidden by the sakura petals so he could only see part of it. A word that begins with “F.” What are the letters after it…?
The two things that come to mind are “Free” and “For the Team.”
And at that same time, Matsuoka Rin’s face sprung to his mind.
It wasn’t his carefree smile from when he first met him back in the 5th grade. It was his face from the last time he saw him that time in the winter of his first year of middle school.
Haruka shook Rin from his mind and turned away from that spot.
But, his feet quickly stopped, and he returned.
Then, he stared at the letter “F” covered in sakura petals.
Could Rin be the one who wrote this? Could Rin be coming back?
If so, then what was it that Rin wrote?
It was completely impossible to imagine that Rin, the way he last saw him, would write “Free” or “For the Team.”
Haruka leaned down and gently removed the sakura petals covering the letters after “F.”
The word written became apparent.
Seeing that word starting with F, Haruka was certain.
It’s him…
He’s back. Matsuoka Rin.
The disturbance in Haruka’s heart became even worse.
He had to hurry to the water. He wanted to be in the water.
He wanted to abandon his body to the water. To not think of anything, just exist.
But if he went home now, Makoto would find him.
Right around this time is when Makoto would be coming to get him at his house.
He’d call for him at his front door, and when there was no answer, he’d go around to the back door, and then head for the bath.
And then he’d notice the empty tub.
He didn’t want to see Makoto right now. If he saw him, he’d just worry needlessly.
Because most importantly, Makoto didn’t know about what happened between Haruka and Rin in the winter of the first year or middle school.
For now, I’ll head there, Haruka thought.
Makoto doesn’t know about that place yet. It was a secret place that Haruka had found recently.
Today I’ll skip school, and spend the whole day there. Then when I go home, I’ll lock the door——Of course lock the back door too, and crawl into bed without turning on any of the lights.
As Haruka quickly left that place, the disturbance in his heart did not go down.
Whether Rin returns or not, it has nothing to do with me now. It’s all in the past. We distinctly parted. So then why are my feelings so disturbed?
As he asked himself that, Haruka cursed the outrage he was feeling.

Nagisa POV
Around that same time, Hazuki Nagisa was happily getting ready.
He had a new bag and new school uniform. Today Nagisa was becoming a first-year student at Iwatobi High school.
I’ll be able to see Haru-chan and Mako-chan again! Nagisa had been in a good mood all morning. He was a little sad that the spring break was over, and he’d have to go to school once again, but this wasn’t going to be the stiff and strict school life he had in middle school. And besides Haru-chan and Mako-can will be there.
He thought about calling them both last night, but he wanted to surprise them by suddenly calling out to them at school. That’s why Nagisa didn’t call them. Nagisa, the one who’s the type to always eat the strawberry on top of the shortcake first, this time was special. He’d save the fun for last. He’ll save it, and save it, till it’s as fun as possible.
His 3 years in middle school were really hard, but if he thought of them as they were all to get him to this day, then he could forgive it. It will be the first time he’s seen Haruka and Makoto in a really long time, but he didn’t feel anxious about it. He remembers the medley relay they swam in together in elementary school.
“It would be great if Rin-chan could be with us too……” he thought. But Rin-chan is in Australia so it can’t be helped. I know! How about during summer vacation the 3 of us all travel to Australia together to see Rin-chan? Just thinking about it brought a huge grin to his face.
“What are you so happy about, Nagisa?”
His older sister Aki asked dubiously, and Nagisa responded without answering.
“Hey, how much does it cost to go to Australia? If I get a part time job over the summer would that cover it?”
“Huh? Why are you asking so suddenly? Australia? Can you even speak English?”
“I can figure it out with body language…”
He responded while laughing and put a piece of bread from the table in his mouth and headed toward the door.
“Hey, Nagisa, That’s bad manners! You don’t have to rush you’ve still got time, don’t you?”
“It’s fine. It’s fine”
He couldn’t wait. He had to hurry. Ah, that’s right, bumping into someone while running with the piece of bread in your mouth, only to find out that they’re a transfer student is something of a trope in transfer student stories. Could that mean he’d run into Rin-chan?
Rin-chan suddenly transferred to Haru-chan’s class during the last semester of the 6th grade of elementary school. So maybe, it isn’t impossible for him to come back from Australia this spring, and transfer into Iwatobi High School?
While thinking about that, Nagisa ran towards the train station.
While he was running, he didn’t notice the other person he passed wearing red glasses and the same Iwatobi school uniform.

Rin POV
Once again around that same time.
In a room at Samezuka Academy, Matsuoka Rin was sorting out his luggage.
His phone vibrated, letting him know he had a text.
It was from his little sister Gou.
Ever since he came back from Australia, Gou had been sending him texts almost every day, and to Rin right now it was nothing but depressing. Gou is his precious younger sister, but that’s exactly why right now he doesn’t want to talk to her. He doesn’t want her to see the him who has given up on his dream and returned home. And above all, he doesn’t want her to worry about him.
Rin ignored the text and continued unpacking.
He hasn’t told Gou or his mother that he came back because he gave up on swimming. Having gone all the way to studying abroad for swimming, he really couldn’t make himself say “It really was impossible. I’ve given up on swimming.” That’s why he chose to transfer to Samezuka Academy, which is famous for high school for swimming. He’s sure that Gou and his mother both think that he’s entering the swim club there. But Rin has no intention of joining the swim club.
“I’ve already given up. I’ve given up——”
——so then why did he sneak out of the dorms yesterday and head to Iwatobi? And to see the sakura tree of all things? There’s a limit to being a romantic.
He asked himself and laughed wryly.
Thinking of that, he remembered Haruka making fun of him for the poem he wrote in the graduation album.
But he quickly smothered his feelings of nostalgia.
No. This is no time to be sentimental. I’m no longer the same person as back then. I’m a completely different person now. That’s why, last night, under that sakura tree, I wrote that word.
A word that starts with “F.” A word that expresses my true emotions.

Yesterday, at the place where Rin stood.
The place where Haruka was standing not long ago.
On the walkway outside the fence of Iwatobi Elementary school under the sakura tree where students are now dashing towards the opening ceremonies.
The wind blows, and the fallen petals dance in the air.
The word written there is——
Not “Free” or “For the Team,” it’s a word detested around the world, a vulgar and aggressive, abhorrent four-letter word starting with F.

Makoto POV
The sun was setting into the ocean near Iwatobi, dying the whole town red.
In the end, I couldn’t find Haru anywhere that day, so I went to school by myself.
I could see Haru’s house from my room.
Even now as the sun is setting, the curtains to Haru’s room are closed, and there are no lights on.
But I know that Haru is inside.
Haru probably wants to be alone. He doesn’t want to see anyone right now.
That’s why I won’t say anything today.
I convinced myself that way and closed the window to my room.

When I think back on it later, that day was probably the day that Haru’s stopped time slowly started moving again. But, I didn’t realize that at this time. My mind was only filled with the strangely vivid images of the dream I had that morning, and no matter how I tried to shake them off, they wouldn’t go away.