Episode 10: Strategy to persuade Coach Sasabe

We were all sitting so quietly you could hear a pin drop. We were just waiting for the time to come. In Haru-chan’s living room. The five of us were gathered. Haru-chan, Mako-chan, Rei-chan, Gou-chan, and me. In the middle of the table, there was a stopwatch. We were just sitting there watching time tick by as the digital numbers changed.
29 minutes and 42 seconds, 43, 44, 45….
Everyone was staring at the numbers without saying a word.
I heard someone swallow loudly.
29 minutes and 57 seconds, 58…..
Any moment now.
Right when the time on the stopwatch was passing 30 minutes and 5 seconds the doorbell rang.
He’s here. Almost exactly 30 minutes later.
Rei-chan pushed his red glasses up with a finger and stood up.
“Will you be ok on your own, Rei-chan?”
I asked, and Rei-chan said to me full of confidence,
“No need to worry. Just leave it to me, Ryuugazaki Rei, the negotiator.”
Negotiator, pronounced in English. Rei-chan stood up and flashed his glasses like a detective going to interrogate a suspect, and then headed by himself towards the entrance. We all watched Rei-chan go anxiously. Then I said quietly to myself,
It’s ok. I’m sure Rei-chan will be able to do it.

Episode 9: The Blue Room

It’s not like I didn’t have any friends until now.
I was invited to birthday parties when I was in elementary school, and after school, there were times I was invited to play at a classmate’s house with everyone. And in middle school, I was invited to study parties with everyone. ‘When Ryuugazaki is here we actually can make progress’ ‘You’re really good at teaching Ryuugazaki-kun’ ‘What do you think is going to be on the next test?’ Everyone in the class relied on me for it. But this time I was invited somewhere it was a bit different. The first time I went over to Nagisa-kun’s house, I was alone.
This was the first time I could ever remember being invited to a friends house by myself. Whenever I went to friends houses before this, I was always with someone else. But this time I was invited by myself….

Episode 7: Nitori’s longest night

What started me writing a diary was when my teacher praised me over my picture diary assignment we had over summer vacation in elementary school. Everyone in my class just did as little as possible writing sentences like ‘I went to the beach’ or ‘I had fun, ’ but I covered many pages with everything that happened in my day. So much so that in the end it couldn’t even be held in one volume and I ended up with a 5 volume long summer vacation picture diary.
At that time, my homeroom teacher, Kyouko-sensei, was really interested in it.

“Nitori-kun, I was thinking that it’d be great if you kept writing a diary even after summer break is over. You can write this much, so you don’t have to draw pictures to go with it. I’m sure once you become an adult and read it, it will make you feel nostalgic and it will be interesting, and you’ll feel really glad that you write a diary. When you open the diary pages, the day’s events that are written there relieve themselves inside your head don’t they? I think that diaries are time machines that anyone can make. It’s a wonderful time machine that can take you back to any time you want just by opening the page.
Since I was only in my early years of elementary school, I didn’t understand what the teacher was trying to tell me at all. But, I was really happy about being praised for something, and I didn’t hate writing down the events of each day. Kyouko-sensei was my Japanese teacher, but I didn’t particularly like Japanese class. It wasn’t just Japanese class, I was bad at studying for all my classes, and I had bad reflexes, so it was really rare for me to be praised for something. My grades were never really bad or good. I was the middle of the middle. I never stood out from the average. I was so average I never really felt inferior to people, but I never really excelled either.
Looking for something for someone like me to be able to do, my parents suggested I join the swimming club. At first, I thought swimming was stupid, but once I had started it was really fun, and I quickly became obsessed with swimming.
I’ve never been able to get faster, and of course, I’ve never been praised by anyone for it, but swimming is fun, and I don’t hate training.

Episode 8: That day

My oldest memory is of Haru holding his hand out to me under the setting sun.
When I was young, that hand that Haru held out to me when I fell down while I was playing in the sandbox looked so reliable.
“Are you ok?”
I nodded while half crying in response to Haru’s question. Then I gave him an awkward smile and firmly grabbed his hand to stand up.
My memories from when I was young are really fragmented, and I’m not sure they’re in order. I might have older memories than that, but that view is the one memory that stands out in my mind as the oldest memory of them all.
I don’t really remember the first time I met Haru. He was by my side before I knew it. We went to kindergarten and elementary school together, and our houses are really close. Our families hang out together. We had barbecues together, went to amusement parks, climbed mountains, went on trips, we made a secret base on the hill behind our house, played in rivers, rode our bikes to the neighboring town for the first time. All of those times Haru was always by my side.
When I started going to the swimming club, it was also with Haru. I was the first one to bring it up, but that was because Haru was there. Haru loved swimming ever since he was little. He loved being in the water. That’s why I thought he’d be happy if I invited him to join a swimming club. I wanted to see Haru’s happy face. When Haru’s happy I’m happy. I used that as the excuse to do it, but actually, once we started going to the swimming club I also became obsessed with swimming. I kind of understood why Haru loved being in the water. I wanted to swim more too. I wanted to swim with Haru. It was pointless without Haru.
I wonder when it was that I started thinking of Haru in that way.

Episode 12: Each of their sights

Makoto POV
I felt like I’d had a long dream.
But when I woke up, I couldn’t remember any of it.
It probably wasn’t a bad dream. I didn’t have a bad feeling like when I woke up from a nightmare.
I sleepily lifted my head and saw Haru still asleep in the next bed over.
Today is the day of the regional tournament. I’d arrived early and stayed at a hotel near the tournament facilities.
I could see the morning light shining through the gap in the curtain. It was only 5 am. It was still a little too early to wake up.
I peeked over at Haru’s sleeping face as he was snoring quietly.
I wonder what kind of dream Haru is having? Is he swimming in his dream? If he is, are Nagisa, Rei, and I there too?
As I thought that, a strange thought came to my mind.
That maybe everything that had happened since we met Rin again in April was a dream.
This past half a year had been that dramatic. If it had all been a dream, then my feeling that I had been having a long dream was probably real. When was it that Ama-chan-sensei gave that lecture about that story? ‘The butterfly’s dream’? I shook those absurd thoughts from my mind. When I got up to wash the sweat off my body, I heard Haru call me.
“Makoto”
I turned towards him.
“Good morning, Haru. Are you awake?”
But Haru was still on the bed with his eyes closed.
It seems he was talking in his sleep.
Feeling a little embarrassed about having answered, I suppressed a laugh at myself.
But it seems I was in his dream. I hope that Nagisa and Rei are there too. And if Rin were there smiling too, that would be the best.
I went into the bathroom and took a hot shower.
I felt the sleepiness slowly draining out of my head.
I prepared myself all over again. It’s finally time. It’s been a long but short half a year.
I swim
The words I wrote on the commemorative wall for our elementary school graduation.
I swim. We–––.

Episode 11: The Long Promise

I swim for myself.
I only swim for myself, and I’m responsible for my own swimming. I don’t want to lose because of someone else, and even if we win, it’s not just because of my own ability. I find that boring.
His face when I said those words suddenly came to my mind.
It happened the one and only time I swam in a relay with him in elementary school. We didn’t do well and after the race, I said that to him in the locker room. I swim for myself. Swimming is a solo sport. Once you dive in the water, you’re alone. You can’t even swim faster with the knowledge you’re with others.
“What’s that? Sousuke, are you making fun of relays!?”
His face when he yelled those words and lunged at me.
Even now I have flashbacks of his face at that time all the time.
I’m trapped by him––– by Rin.

I walked around the city while thinking and became lost.
It’s always like that. I get lost. Even more so since this is the first time I’ve been to this city.
Where am I?
I was standing in a crowded, neon back alley off of the main road.
I could hear a drunk singing bad karaoke from some store. They were singing about how the future wasn’t so bad. It was a song that wasn’t suited for me right now. It was just a bunch of phrases that sounded nice. They were just shallow wishes. In order to escape from the song, I exited the alleyway. An unfamiliar road appeared before me. Cars passed in front of me. The signal changed and turned red. Stop. I had come to a standstill again. I saw what looked like a salaryman who had just gotten off work come out of a convenience store holding a bag containing a bento. Only while the automatic door was open could I hear the store’s soft music coming from inside. When the Door closed again, the music was cut off. I could still faintly hear the drunk singing in the distance. At a loss, I once again asked myself, but this time out loud in a mumble.
“Where… am I……?”
It would be fine if I were just lost in reality, but I had lost my way in life and didn’t know the way forward as well. When you’re lost in reality, there are maps. You can ask someone else. But in life, when you lose your way what should you do? No one can tell you the right way forward. Actually, there is no true right way. Just where exactly am I headed–––?
That’s no good. I’m being sentimental tonight. I’m just being an idiot romanticist.
I’m being the same as him……
I laughed bitterly to myself and looked up at the night sky. Then I started looking for the hotel I had just checked into and glanced around the unfamiliar city. The unfamiliar city where, tomorrow, the inter-high regional tournament would be held.

Episode 6: It’s pointless without you, Haru.

It’s pointless without you, Haru.
This makes it the second time I’ve heard Makoto say those words.
The first time was in elementary school. The time that Makoto tried to convince me to swim in a relay with Rin.
Without you, It’s pointless without you, Haru.
I want to swim with you, Haru.

Makoto’s my childhood friend, so he’s an existence that’s always been by my side without question.
That’s why for me I’d never even thought about if it would be pointless without Makoto. Besides, I only swim free. Even when swimming in a relay, there’s no reason it has to be Makoto swimming with me. Of course, there’s no reason it has to be Rin either. I’m always alone in the water. It doesn’t matter who I’m swimming with. That’s why the first time I heard “it’s pointless without you, Haru” I was a bit confused. How should I take those words of Makoto’s? Should I accept them? For a moment, I didn’t know what to do.
The elementary school me didn’t say anything and just stared at Makoto’s face. I’m sure it was only a short amount of time in reality. But to Makoto that short moment probably felt like forever. He quickly said, “sorry for saying something weird” and smiled at me. I probably should have said something back to him at that time. I took advantage of the fact that Makoto understood me without me having to say anything.

Episode 5: Stormy Samezuka

Something smells like mackerel.
When I was standing next to the training camp pool, I definitely sensed that smell.
Mikoshiba-bucho said it was probably the mackerel from the mackerel curry we were having for lunch but, when you seriously think about it, there’s no way the smell from the kitchen would reach all the way into the closed airspace of the indoor pool.
What I sensed was something else completely different. No, actually it wasn’t a smell, it was more like a presence. It was his presence. Haru’s presence…
Ah, It’s so irritating. When I think of Haru, my heart speeds up and I can’t keep calm.
But, there’s no way that Haru would be close by, here and now.
This isn’t Iwatobi city or Samezuka Academy. It’s a training camp on an island some kilometers away from Iwatobi. And yet I can feel his presence. I can smell him. Is it just my imagination? Am I that caught up in Haru?
I’ll see him at the prefectural tournament.
When I happened to run into him at the sports shop, I told him that.
“You will swim for me.”
You say you only swim free? That doesn’t matter. I won’t allow you to be free. You will swim for me. In order for me to become stronger, in order for me to get to the world level.
That’s why until the prefectural tournament, I must only focus on my training. So then why is this mackerel smell throwing me into disarray? I don’t get it. It’s just irritating me for no reason.
Since my nerves were going crazy at the poolside, a guy named Nitori carelessly talked to me.
“Matsuoka-senpai, do you like mackerel?”
“Shut up.”
I spat at him and jumped into the pool.
The lukewarm water of the indoor pool wrapped around my body.
It’s so tepid. It shouldn’t be like this. What I’m seeking is something… more… something much hotter. I need the roar of a soul so hot it would make the pool’s water boil. And then I will dry Haru out with it. I’ll leave him so there’s not even one drop of water left in him, I’ll leave him like dinosaur bones buried in the desert.

Episode 4: Trapped Orca

When I was in elementary school, I used to refer to myself as “boku.”
I only started saying “ore” when I entered middle school.
Even during elementary school, once we reached the upper grades, the boys in my class who used to call themselves “boku” all slowly began their transition to “ore.” Among them, I somehow stayed at the “boku” stage and never quite made it to “ore.” I mean, when someone who was still saying “boku” the day before suddenly switches to “ore” the next day, it’s kind of embarrassing. In hindsight, it was nothing more than excessive self-consciousness, but that’s what I thought back then.
However, I couldn’t just keep using “boku” forever. So once I reached middle school, I took the plunge and tried referring myself as “ore.”
“Haru, are you going to join a school club? I (ore) am still unsure…”
“….ore?”
Haru stared at me with a dubious look.
And it somehow made me feel really awkward.
Even now, there are still times I wonder… if I should call myself “ore.”
“Makoto, you have such a large body, you should walk tall with more confidence.”
That was what everyone said to me, but that part of me that was wimpish, and easily-scared was probably something I was born with.
Even though that’s how I was, Haruka was always there for me.
Haru and I are the same age, our homes are right across from each other, and our families were close to each other. That’s why it was natural for us to be always together like brothers. Haru has always been by my side for as long as I could remember.
Just having Haru nearby makes me feel at ease. The swirling feeling of anxiety and fear in my chest quickly goes away simply because Haru is there.
But……

Episode 3: The Red Glasses

This is why I said I didn’t want to.
With a surge of regret, my body was slowly sinking to the bottom of the pool.
Was I going to die in this indoor Samezuka Academy pool, at this joint practice?
The cry of “Rei-chan!” I can hear from the poolside is slowly getting further away. It seems like I’ll lose consciousness soon. At times like this, it’s said that people see revolving lanterns. My the theory as for why a revolving lantern? It’s because the brain cells activate just before death, and so it’s the result of all the synapses firing together, and thus showing your state of mind. I’ll probably start seeing that revolving lantern any moment now.
But still, If I were to die I at least wanted to die with a more beautiful appearance. Not while only wearing this speedo. It’s not beautiful.